We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
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