She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
