Jerry, you need to find god
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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