Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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