i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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