y did u give ur computer a hand job?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
