I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize