3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Terrible idea I love it
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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