She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
