Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
