So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I smell like Dick and happiness
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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