C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
