I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My dick has a subreddit
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
