OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
