i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Slut skills are useful in every country.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
