Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
That reminds me...we need to get swords
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
