i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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