I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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