Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity

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  (619): I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity http://tfl.nu/ljia
  Replies (5) Good night (1348) Bad night (650)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Good decisions....

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up

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  (401): Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant (978): Good decisions.... (401): Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up http://tfl.nu/4ade
  Replies (7) Good night (2373) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.

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  (978): I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb. http://tfl.nu/h3os
  Replies (4) Good night (4116) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  I feel like half our conversations start this way.

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  (603): GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED (1-603): I feel like half our conversations start this way. http://tfl.nu/9770
  Replies (16) Good night (6250) Bad night (942)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.

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  (914): you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue. http://tfl.nu/t2fn
  Replies (9) Good night (4584) Bad night (1262)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring

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  (647): ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring http://tfl.nu/c0bs
  Replies (19) Good night (1263) Bad night (5048)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.

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  (407): Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine. http://tfl.nu/l8j9
  Replies (19) Good night (1436) Bad night (2973)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult

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  (972): Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult http://tfl.nu/j3hz
  Replies (5) Good night (1367) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.

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  (701): Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring. http://tfl.nu/lp7n
  Replies (4) Good night (2291) Bad night (886)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that

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  (513): They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding (1-513): Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that http://tfl.nu/r0yq
  Replies (3) Good night (1415) Bad night (653)
• Favorite

  (+55): View more from

  Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.

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  (+55): Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept. http://tfl.nu/o11x
  Replies (6) Good night (1509) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away

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  (763): My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away http://tfl.nu/xlij
  Replies (5) Good night (2160) Bad night (648)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess

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  (757): think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess http://tfl.nu/lfhg
  Replies (5) Good night (791) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"

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  (513): You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT" http://tfl.nu/mncx
  Replies (2) Good night (882) Bad night (453)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf

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  (781): Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf http://tfl.nu/hqdc
  Replies (2) Good night (1029) Bad night (397)

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