I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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