I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
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What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
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Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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