Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best