TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling