So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
