I can't watch pbs sober anymore
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
