I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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