I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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