Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Sext me about skeletons
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
