dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
