whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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