I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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