do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
