Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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