You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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