I feel like abortions should bother me more
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
