So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
