Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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