She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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