then he tried to convert me to islam
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
