He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
