I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
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His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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