that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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