So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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