If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
