just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
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it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
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Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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