the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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