i permit you to call me
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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