U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
