I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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