i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
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She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
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Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?