I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
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As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service