The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
