Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!