Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
birth control should be required to get into college
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said