maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
