Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You should frame my arrest warrant.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.