Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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