Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
