Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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