My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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