Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
