Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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