You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
