i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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