he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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