Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
