Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
