Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
