Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
So many bounce houses so little time
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
