I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
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A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
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We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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