I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
