I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
