i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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