Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
