fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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