we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
